That was a 7+ am entry. I always love Fridays, no matter how hectic it may be. But this particular Friday, today, is an exception. After I submitted my earlier entry in the morning, things take a nasty turn not in my favour.

First, I was approached by That-Guy-who-dunno-how-to-say-things-nicely. I dunt have any personal grudge against him and he actually dunt really care abt what i do. But he was approached by the-guy-i-dunt-wanna-mention-the-name .Basically the message that he want to send across to me is that die die at the end of the year, I must produce that thing he wants. He thinks its possible. I am thinking, easier said than done.
To make things worse, the-guy-i-dunt-wanna-mention-the-name sent an email to say that he wanna see my lesson. I'm given one weekend, monday , tuesday to prepare for it. Bearing in mind, on tuesday I am done for science prelim prac, and during the weekends, I have to whip up some common test papers plus the all important paper that I cant afford to be bochap and chop chop about it. I have to be very careful in my selection and thus tht requires a lot of time. On top of that I have tonnes of markings- from the mock exam, as well as the class tests that were carried out. Thats more than enuff to make me work non stop. Why does he wanna see my lesson next week? THAT is the last thing on my priority list. I dont wanna be bochap about it but do I have a choice?

For a while I feel like breaking down. I feel too overwhelmed by everything. Why cant it just be for the benefit of the students? To see them score, get good results? See them mature over the years and guide them to make discerning choices.. Why do I feel that sometimes I have to put on a front and pretend. Why do I feel that sometimes my efforts is not recognised? Why isit that if I am to do things I feel that its more 'for show' or its for somebody else's glory or just to make sure that I am not that bottom 10% or so ..

I felt like crying throughout the day. I just feel down down down. I almost wanna spoil the scheduled meeting wif the after6. The meeting was finally confirmed after a few days of discussion of sms and email. Its not easy to meet up wif 5 working ladies / mummies. I will definitely be a spoiler if I pull out last min. So, wif my croaking sexy voice, and my wounded working soul, I decided to put all I have and just let go for a few hours. So I did..
The feeling of dread totally went off when I saw Humairah running after her mum to get into my car. I also had fun looking at humairah and nazif gets into action. I got much oxygen in my lungs when I laughed at ana and ayu entertaining their toddlers' antics. So it wasnt a bad decision after all to go.
Now, I'm back home. The depression starts again as I start to do the things that I have to do. but at least its betta now.. I'm having a headache now. I shall be strong to face this challenging period.

For every hardship, there will be relief. Oh Allah , give me strength..